A little on the slender side but very nice. Cute face and perky, perfect tits. And last but not least, a pudendum that should be in a museum of world class genitalia.

@ matt1075

Thanks for the link. Her face looks younger and fresher here. Her tits look bigger on the Twisty site. Cute snooch.

@ broluvsis

Hahahaha!

@ Serbian pimp.

I know that Serbia is not Siberia. My point was that Serbians have a reputation for international whore trafficking.

If you come visit, bring chicks.

Her makeup was applied in the dark with a paint sprayer, Playboy tattoos are skanky and stupid and like 99% of all stripper pornsluts she went 2 sizes too big on those cartoonish titties. Probably against the advice of a reputable cosmetic surgeon.

I will now wait for the comments to say, "Hey, Funeral Guy, you're so full of shit. You know you would fuck her in two seconds." Well, of course, I would fuck her in two seconds. (If that long.) I'm a guy and she's way far from hideous. But let's be honest. None of us are going to fuck her or any of the other professional pussy flashers on the interwebs. That's not the point. The fun of this site is pointing out the flaws that we see on the endless parade of hoochies and strumpets and celebrating the hotties. We all have our personal preferences. Vive la differance!

That's why what we really like are the amateurs. Because those are the girls that we will, in reality, end up fucking. God bless 'em.

An embarrassing moment in the making when her future husband finds his girl next door wife flashing her tits and snatch for her previous boyfriend on the interwebs.

Now we're talkin'. That shade of lipstick would look good all over my cock.

Sorry. Can't get by those pornslut plastic balloons.

Nice broads on this. 99% Funeral Guy approved and boneworthy.

On the plus side. Sexy little tittes and tight fuckhole.

On the minus side: Kinda chunky, stupid tats and unsexy flip-flops.

Bottom line: The Funeral Guy would come over and fuck her while she's babysitting then brag about it on Facebook.

Nice tits. Why so shy about the pussy?

I bet she's never really been on a farm. She's so ignorant of farm work she actually milked a cock instead of a cow.

Get your boinking in early on this one, guys. Hot now, but as they say in the beauty biz, "Fat by 30".)

Proving all you need for a Merry Christmas is a naked chick in a Santa hat.

I betcha' for 25 grand you can bring this young honey to America and make her your blushing bride. She will then empty your bank account and her Serbian pimp boyfriend will steal your identity and ruin your life forever.

That's some woman. (Where is the commenter that won't fuck a broad with dimples in the nipples?)

Kinda skanky. Has bruises on her knees from blowing guys in nightclub bathrooms for coke.

Nice natural body. Sexy underwear. Yum.

Hate bobble tits, hate pussy jewelry, don't think much of her tats either but I'd still fuck her if I had nothing else going.

I don't know what your definition of small tits is, but most of these have more than a healthy handful. This set runs the gamut from really sexy to woof woof.

#19 really makes me pop one. She looks like the kind of girl that wouldn't say no to anything.

Very cute chick. I hope the tattoo artist checked the ID. Does she have a nice snoochie? I dunno.

Should you be doing internet porn if you're still playing with coloring books? Does your mother know what you're up to?

Young, oily, Russian, fisted pussy. Niche porn of the finest kind.

I spy with my little eye...

Something that starts with "C" and rhymes with "ameltoe".

Professional pornslut. Amateur tats.

Another cute girl that's as dumb as a box of hammers who lets her boyfriend do a "photo shoot" and of course he puts it right up on the interwebs.

He couldn't even wait until her stubble rash healed from her dull razor shave.

I would do her 'cause I loves chicks that are a bit dim.

She looks fun! I like a little meat to the legs. I also like that her nose is just a little too big. Adds a uniqueness to her beauty. I rate her very hot.

And she can iron my shirts. (Medium starch on the shirts, Lovey, I've got the heavy starch in my boner.)

I can't put it any better than annie monis. Very pretty, girl next door face. Even as a large labia afficionado I am stunned by the perfection of the little girl pussy on the big girl body. Very unique.

All this makes the horrible bolt-on fleshbags that much more unfortunate. For god's sake, ladies! Stop the madness!!!

Sexy shenanigans while the parentals are out. Girls...those private photos never stay private.

I happen to think your pussy is more than acceptable.

Lots of mini gingers lately. Cute natural titties. Sesssyy little fuckhole.

The Funeral Guy has always found the sweet slit of a redhead to have a stimulating and attractive bouquet with juices that are richly nectarous.

Ahhhhh, women. The only reason a man gets off the couch to do anything productive.

@ Jayzen Freeze

Maybe it's because the sleazebag pimp/boyfriend left her with the baboo and no moneys. I'd still bang her. Nipple dimples be damned.

"Hey, kid, go take a nap. Me and your mom be gettin' busy."

Impulsive sluttery that will haunt this young dorm room tramp for the rest of her days. By the look in her eyes you can almost tell that even she knows that letting her one night hook up take pictures of her playing with her pussy was a poor choice.

As I gaze into the crystal ball and see the future of this once promising lass?

Shame, alcoholism, drug abuse and an anonymous overdose death in a ratty crack house.

I'm The Funeral Guy and I have seen these things.

Little Caprice is right. What is she 4' 6"? I loves me the petite girls with the small breastuses and the added plus of puffy nips.

I bet with those heels on she'd be right in line with my cock for a knee trembling stand up session of the old in out in out.

At least you know this chick doesn't smoke. If a cigarette burned down close to all the chemicals in her lips her fucking head would explode.

Obviously a post for the tit man crowd. I will have to assume she has a vagina.

Bad news, guys. I just googled this chick and she's had her tits done (and badly) and possibly some work on her face.

http://www.taliashepard.com/

She now looks like a dime a dozen, hard bitten plastic porn whore. Really a fucking shame.

@ Buzzboard

You have to admit it was nice that she took time away from her ironing to pose for us.

Good set. All these are sexy in their own way. Nice to look at real broads instead of photoshopped pneumatic bobble-tittied pornslut/strippers.

Any chick that can get oral sex from Tigger is OK in my book. (Pic #2) #8 and #30 can double team me any time.

I can't help myself. I find slutty, buzzed looking chicks that will fuck a bottle of booze in front of a camera totally sexy.

What I also find sexy are nipples that you could use to engrave a trophy.

1) Heavenly, gorgeous face.

2) Satin nighty and sexy panties and stockings.

3) She's a ginger.

4) Sweet shaved vageen with meaty lips.

5) She's a flexy.

6) Natural perfect tits.

This is what I call The Funeral Guy Pick Six. 10++

Typical not very sexy Playboy broad. Makeup applied with a spray gun and big, cartoon plastic tits. Won't these trollops ever realize that your nipples are not supposed to be located in the top third of your breast?

She wouldn't make it into American Playboy until she dropped about 15 pounds, although I'm sure she makes a good living with all the bills that get tucked into her G-string when she's done on the pole.

With all that, do I need to say that I would fuck the shit out of her if given the chance?

This one has a real JAP look. (Jewish American Princess) Reminds me of some chicks I knew back in the day. Love the long lean look of her body and the pink undies and fishnets are a major turn on.

Oh yeah, cute snoochie too.

As I've made abundantly clear on this site, The Funeral Guy hates plastic bazoos. However, in this case an enhancement that lifts and shapes is probably a good thing. Otherwise? Do we even want to imagine?

The rest of her body is in surprisingly good shape. The nicely trimmed cock holster doesn't appear to be heading into prolapse territory and her ass still retains a bit of suppleness. All to the good.

The face with makeup is acceptable, but without it the ravages of drug and/or alcohol abuse are too visible.

Bottom line? The Funeral Guy would hit it but definitely with a rubber on. Maybe two. I mean think about it. A woman her age posing for nudie pics (with most likely grandkid photos in the background) that end up on internet stroke sites? To me that indicates a sexual history that borders on the reckless.

Would I take her anyplace nice for dinner out? The answer to that, I'm afraid, is NO.

She's hot but she needs more sex. She starting to get cobwebs on her pussy. (Pic #3)

Her body might be thin (nothing wrong with that since she's not anorexic) but her pussy is nice and fat. She is hot, hot, hot.

Imagine helping her dry off after her bath and then licking that perfect butthole. Nice!

If her ID said 18 I would roger her silly. And yes, my dear, you will be leaving the socks on.

That ass is made for spanking.

Not my body type for sure but would be fun to roll around with for a change. Looks like one of those saloon whores in a western. Yeeehaaaa!!!!! Ride 'em, cowboy!!!!

PS. She also looks like a well fed version of Taylor Swift. Yummy!

Talk about some spicy sushi. I would love use my chopsticks on that bush to get at that slanty pussy.

@ bunio14

You're right. I didn't notice the nails since I was too busy looking at the stubbly snizz.

The good: She is absolutely stunning.

The bad: She needs to buy a new razor.